You just can't...

drink out of the side of a travel mug. Just trust me on this... it won't work.

Travel mugs have those little slots on one side of the lid.... that slot must be lined up with your mouth.

Otherwise, the coffee will pour out onto your cheek instead of into your mouth... it will run down your neck and, if you're a woman (or a man with appropriate cleavage, I guess), it will go straight down between your boobs and pool in your bra.

We don't need to discuss how I came to learn that fact this morning.

Nor do we need to visualize me frantically stuffing napkins down my shirt to try and stop my bra from soaking it all up.... or picture my co-worker, facing me through the completely barren window that separates our offices, laughing her ass off at my plight. Just forget it.

I guess I should just be grateful that it went down my top instead of all over it.... I mean, no one can see if I have a coffee stained bra on right? I actually made out alright here.

Oz may have some questions later though...

Excuse me, I need more coffee.