The Lady in the Muumuu

I was watching a really great comedian on the comedy channel a while back... wish I could remember his name, he was an absolute riot.

I love watching comedians... and the best ones always use universal truths as the basis of their routines and jokes - that's what makes them so funny I guess: What they're joking about resonates with the audience because, underneath, you know it's true. We laugh because we recognize it.

He was doing a bit on Tornadoes... commenting on the fact that they always seem to hit trailer parks - or at least, when you see reports on the devastation left behind, a trailer park always seems to be the hardest hit. It wasn't a trailer park getting blown away that he was making fun of, but the fact that the TV news reporters always seemed to find the most backwards, hill-billy-ish person to interview for the report: most likely a woman in a muumuu, missing a tooth or two, to exclaim about how it all went down - and which red-neck activity of hers was interrupted in the process... or how many of their "yard" cars were tossed.

It was hilarious... because everyone's seen a report like that, no?

Probably not so funny to anyone actually IN the community being reported on though... the ones staring at the television screen thinking "seriously? you picked THEM to represent us all? Oh my God... the whole world is going to think we're all like that!"

(And we know they're not, right? We must know that not everyone who lives in a trailer park is a redneck... or wears muumuus and has multiple broken-down vehicles littering their yard... but there's still an impression out there when THAT lady gets interviewed)

Unfortunately, every community has one of THOSE folks... and invariably, they end up in front of the camera - leaving their impression of how all of us must be. And when it's YOUR community, you sit there staring at your screen thinking "NO - don't listen! It's the lady in the muumuu!"

But too late... the impression is there.

Here, in Canada, we have our very own "lady in the muumuu" ... it's Quebec. My saying that will probably piss off a bunch of people... but I don't care - my blog, my opinion. Quebec is NOT representative of the "rest of us". They have their own rules, their own laws, their own taxes, their own daycare, school and health care systems. They march to the beat of their own drum. Whenever we have rules for something, it's always "this is how it is in Canada... with the exception of Quebec who will do it their way".

Every few years, Quebec has another referendum - a mass vote on whether or not to remain a part of Canada or to separate and become their own country. And it's always close: 51% chose to stay part of Canada last time? The vote has nothing to do with the rest of the country... we just sit back and watch the proceedings - and argue amongst ourselves about what the best outcome would be. There are huge numbers in the "just let them go!" camp... butting heads with the "OMG, NO... we can't let our country be split" camp. But it's really up to Quebec.

I've been on the fence. I don't want to see my country broken apart... and there's a bit of pride that would be lost if they left too: Canada would no longer be the biggest country in the world (since the fall of the soviet union), Canada would no longer share the longest undefended border in the world with the United States, Canada would no longer stretch "from sea to shining sea" (we might have to change our national anthem!).

But it's kind of insulting to have one member of the group constantly saying "we don't want to play with you any more" And it's kind of frustrating to have that one dissenting member be the one constantly caught on camera... with their thick accents and broken English, representing the rest of us to the world. They've been individual, "unique" (their battle cry) and doing their own thing forever... they've been talking about leaving for decades already.

So I think, the next time they want to leave, we should stop bending over backwards and kissing ass to keep them part of Canada. Let them go already... North America is big enough to handle 4 countries - and if we could come up with a new theme song to Hockey Night In Canada after all these years, coming up with a new national anthem should be a piece of cake.

At least when Quebec officially becomes their own country, the lady in the muumuu will no longer be placed front and centre, representing all that's out-of-wack in "this" country.

Come again??

8 year old: "Mom! Mom!! My tooth is almost falling out!!"

Mom: "Cool buddy! That's so awesome... I guess that means the Tooth Fairy will be coming to visit you again!"

3 year old (not to be outdone): "Mom! Mom!! My chin is almost falling off!"

Mom: "???" (seriously... I had nothing... other than laughing my ass off. I guess it made as much sense to her as a tooth falling out?)

One Decade Down

We survived another year... and another birthday party - barely. My oldest turned 10 years old on Tuesday. We were going to take him and his friends to the corn maze and let them run wild for a few hours.... but the incessant rain this summer forced a change in our plans. I suppose we could have taken them - the puddles on the mud paths throughout the maze were only ankle deep.... but I just don't think my van could have handled 6 (my vehicle's share) suped-up-on-sugar, mud-covered 10 year old boys on the drive home.

So a last minute change in plans: I took Tuesday off and prepared for an at-home party.

Which turned out to be way too much work.

My three years as a camp counsellor has left me capable (even if not completely enthused by the idea) of entertaining a group this age... which can be really challenging because, well, they're TEN - so just getting to be a little jaded... and a little less willing to be silly for the sake of having fun (even though they secretly still want to). But I was a teenager when I spent my time coming up with fun activities.... and had so much more energy for keeping them going. It took me the entire day to set up activities and build props and organize games. I was a little more than half-way through running the kids through them when I really started questioning my sanity (which I would never have admitted to out-loud because my husband was calling me crazy enough... minor points to him for at least helping though) - I was just exhausted.

We did a "10th birthday challenge" with 10 games... 5 team and 5 individual... where they collected points - for the team and for themselves. At the end there were prizes. There were winners and there were losers... which is good for them at this age, right? Because kids don't lose enough these days... it's character-building. There was a prize for everyone... but WHICH prize they eventually walked home with depended on the final standings.

I didn't get a prize. And I worked harder than any of them.... just saying. (minor over-sight on my part).

I did spend less on the prizes than I would have on taking the group to the corn maze, which is good. But man this party was way more work than I envisioned it being when I came up with the idea.... I don't know what I was thinking. My husband, he just thinks I'm crazy and tells me I've gone overboard... which I suppose I did a little bit.... but really? The eye-rolling doesn't help. Just because he never had a birthday party as a child, doesn't mean our kids shouldn't have them - or that the kids shouldn't have the time of their lives on this one day of the year meant just for them. He'll have to get over it.

And the kids did have a blast. My son was thrilled with his birthday and his friends were well-entertained for a few hours. Unfortunately, I was so run off my feet that I didn't get a single picture of the event. No pictures of my son's only 10th birthday party (that would be zero mom-points to me)... it was an hour or so after the party ended... and I was already wishing I could be in bed, when I remembered that. Damn it. Not that I actually had time to take any pictures... just sucks that no one else in the house thought of it either. I should have assigned one of his aunts to camera duty...

It was a good day - and I'd say *almost* worth all my time & effort. I'm glad it went over well and I'm pleased that my boy is happy.... but next year? We're going to find a much easier way to put a smile on his face. I think this was his last "big" (or at least parental-labour-intensive) birthday party. Maybe next year we'll take them to a movie.

To make up for missing the pictures, I had the bakery re-create his cake from the party... to take to our smaller family-gathering the following night. I took some pictures there.

And I'm happy to report, that along with what he'd already saved, my boy collected enough birthday money to buy the Wii he's wanted for so long... we're going to get it tonight. I'm telling myself that THAT will be worth the 10 hours of my life (and conveniently ignoring the fact that he still would have collected that birthday money even if I had done something much simpler).

Anyway, that one decade down for offspring #1. And I don't feel old enough to have a 10 year old yet. This one keeps me on my toes... which, I suppose, is his job - being the oldest. Almost everything with him is something new... something I've never had to deal with as a parent before... something I'm never quite sure I'm handling right. But he's a good egg... and I think I'll be able to handle 10. Just starting to get a little nervous of those rapidly-approaching teen years now that we're counting in double-digits!

Was it intentional?

Did you know that Mastercard Inc. is based in the town of Purchase, New York?

Just struck me as funny....

Grindstone Days Racing

We actually found the beach where they do the kids races and hot dog lunch this year! (last year, although we KNEW there was racing/activities for the kids, we were too new to the area to figure out WHERE they were being held.... we actually showed up at the wrong, and very empty beach so the whole family missed out. Clever, no?)

But not this year! We found the right, and VERY busy beach - with plenty of time to spare before the start of the activites. The kids had a blast.... there were rounds and rounds of various types of races.... and plenty of prizes (and freezies and ice cream!) for the participants to go around. They lined 'em up in their various age groups and the crowd cheered all the kids on. My girl, in her 3 & under category, did great for her first competitive showing! (see her in the middle in her purple shirt & jeans?)

** After scrolling back through these pictures, my daughter felt it necessary to point out that I didn't post any pictures of them eating their freezies. Sorry for the slip... there WERE freezies.... many many freezies.

Backwards!

And two out of three actually managed to stay upright! Although we can't blame the nephew for coming down half-way through.... it's hard not to trip over other fallen bodies when you're not looking where you're going!

Remember these?

Yes, apparently someone still makes giant potatoe sacks.... and there are those of us who still punish our children by making them attempt to race in them!

(this one ended up with a turned ankle - but no lasting damage ;)

These rarely end well - but at least I stayed dry!

Against my better judgement (and fear of being soaked!), I partnered with my oldest for the water-balloon toss.... because "I really want to win a prize in this one Mom!" (ummm... and you're picking ME kid? Good luck with that!). My little man partnered with his cousin. My son & I actually made it down to the final 5 teams....which was only one round past the other two boys. Perhaps my oldest should have chosen his cousin as a partner after all... it was my little man & I who were responsible for both balloon bursts!

Shoe Scramble!

This was a funny race.... I've seen them before, but don't remember if I ever did one as a child? Somehow or other my oldest ended up winning a prize during this one... despite the fact that both his brother & cousin actually crossed the line before him?

Ah well, it's all in fun.... and I think he honestly believes he was 3rd? Not going to spoil it for him ;)

A little hard on a girl...

So all the races were divided into age groups... only not ALL age groups were included in each category - there were only a couple that were for "3 and Under".... and the shoe scramble wasn't one of them.

Now not having the little ones doing all the activities might work for some 3 year olds... but not ones like mine, who really believe they're just very short 8 year olds. She wants.... expects actually, to do everything her big brothers and cousins are doing.

So we let her line up with the 4 & 5 year old shoe scramble.... she raced up to the line at the very last minute and I quickly put her shoes out right where she could see them. She didn't have a hope of getting them on as quick as the other kids.... but at least she could be part of the action.

The first pic is her determined little face as she zeros-in and makes a beeline for her shoes (front and centre in the pic).... and the second pic is her collapsed in grief as the nasty/mean/heartless/warden-like organizer of the race saw the paired set of shoes and jumped ahead of her to toss one away.

Nice. Like my 3 year old needed an additional handicap against the "big" kids. I wonder if it made her proud to make a toddler cry?

(since I figured it would be really out of line to slap her or anything else I was thinking of at the time, I just collected my girl off the grass and helped her get the shoes on. But I still think the lady was an over-zealous b**ch... they're little KIDS for crying out loud! Ah well, my girl forgot about it within a few minutes... and it was only a *small* black mark on an otherwise great afternoon)